Backpacks, lunchbags, pencil cases and notebooks are part of the traditional purchase pattern of the back-to-school ritual at the end of each summer. Older students include new technology like smartphones, tablets and laptops to assist in academic tasks. From pre-school to post-secondary, students of all ages prepare themselves to return to a learning setting at this time of year.
But what about the mental preparation that goes into this transition from vacation to daily learning? Often referred to as “back to school jitters”, for some students, the return to a school routine can be positive, but for those who struggle with learning, it is a very stressful time. Many factors can elicit stress in students, which may or may not show in their attitude, comments or behaviour. Some of these factors include academic expectations (will I measure up to the new grade level material?), social (will I have friends in my class?) interpersonal (will I like my teacher and get along with him or her?) and emotional (will my year be as good or as bad as last year?).
Ensuring regular talks between you and your child, regardless of his or her age is one way to reduce worry, that may lead to more anxiety as the first day or first weeks of school unfold. The difference between jitters and anxiety is the comfort level of the child going into an unknown situation and their adaptability to change. Children and adolescents develop resiliency with the annual return to school cycle if they are properly prepared and organized for these transitions.
Transitions include home to daycare routines, walking to riding a school bus, being separated from parents and older siblings, changing grade levels, type of program or change of schools. Regardless of the age of the student, doing a dry run of the first day for timing purposes, checking public transit routes or school bus stop areas, visiting the school, and discussing communication plans between the child and the parent, are helpful ways to build comfort and readiness skills in a child or adolescent.
Excitement about seeing missed friends again, being in a new classroom setting and meeting the new teacher or teachers should generally bring positive feelings of anticipation. First impressions act as a catalyst to acceptance both for teachers and students in a new learning situation. Many teachers are unaware how body language, tone, volume and attire contribute to making a positive first impression to a new student, which is usually established in the first thirty seconds of interaction with the group. A second chance is usually afforded in the first personal interaction between a teacher and student. A positive disposition and projected confidence from the adult are the first elements of initial attachment a child will feel towards an adult in a position of responsibility. For adolescents, sensing that the teacher is sound in the subject matter and can relate to teens, is also an important initial marker for fostering security in their learning setting.
So when does anxiety lead to school phobia? When a child worries to the extent that it impairs his or her functioning and daily thought process and impacts coping mechanisms necessary for resiliency in the school environment. Many social or academic triggers can possibly derail a student from their confidence, self-esteem and self-worth trajectory, impeding his or her ability to learn. A child’s refusal to go to school, complaints of physical illness (manifested or not), increase in explosive behaviour or withdrawal from others, are all signs that certain symptoms of malaise have accumulated to the point where a child requires intervention by a parent, school personnel, counsellor, psychologist or other mental health professional to help overcome perceived or real obstacles. Working together as a team to source an issue and resolve it will help return the child to a state where he or she is able to continue learning.
Ongoing home-school communication is essential to follow-up on small issues revealed casually through conversation and dialogue at home, before these go unchecked and develop into obstacles to the child’s learning continuum, learning environment and social-emotional development. An unhappy child does not learn, regardless of age.
Parents can help their children cope with learning and school life by asking relevant and thought provoking questions instead of the usual scripted questions like “how was school today” and “what did you learn”, which are too open ended for youngsters to capture and articulate and which will elicit only negative responses from older kids. Questions referring to specific tasks, assignments, concepts or queries about who they spent time with in unstructured moments will lead to richer dialogue and possible sharing of experiences — or provoke problem-solving scenarios– that can build attachment and bonding between a parent and child.
For more on the relational approach to parenting and teaching and its impact on learning visit the Neufeld Institute website at www.gordonneufeld.com
Monika Ferenczy
Education Consultant